carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
