How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
