i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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