one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
