and you said cock pushups were impossible
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
last night I used snow as a chaser
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
