Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
