I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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