Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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