Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
