Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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