This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
