And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
this will be a night to untag.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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