the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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