you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
