There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
