i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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