Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
