We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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