nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
