You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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