Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
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