did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
When are your genitals available?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
