Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize