i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
