So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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