He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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