I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
