clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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