a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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