Umm I'm too high to move.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize