The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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