you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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