is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
