Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is the prime rib incident all over again
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize