Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
