Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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