I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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