He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The uberlube is also flammable
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
