fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize