It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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