His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
