FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
