her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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