I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
COCAINE IS GR8
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
