it hurts more in the daytime
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
