I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
