i just had sex bonerless
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Let's paint friendship bongs
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize