Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
