Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He better not be in your backpack
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
