i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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