Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
