Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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