she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
