I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
