they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
