You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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