Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
