I hate your face
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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