I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
