Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
