Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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