He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
