Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize