Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
