if you like me you must not know who I am
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
