Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
