I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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