A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
