Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
