Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
