love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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