I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
